This is our note to play.

Today I want to invite you to gather around our "table" for a good heart to heart about why we are going to jump into something that is almost guaranteed to be messy and hard. 

Foster care.

It's about to get real.  By the beginning of May our phone could ring and our family may grow from 5 to 6...for a weekend, a month, or forever.  Most people have been overwhelmingly supportive of our decision to be a foster family, and those who don't like the idea have at least been kind enough to keep their criticism to themselves (or share it with someone other than us).  I appreciate the restraint.:)  I understand why it seems risky, crazy, or why some think we have enough kids already.  

I completely agree with you, but we are doing it anyway.  

We are trading in our low risk, comfortable life for something we believe is better.  Jeff and I don't love hardship, trials, or seeing our kids miss out on some things anymore than the next person.  Honestly, as of yet, the cost of following Jesus has not required hardship or much sacrifice from us. While we know this will be hard and that our financial picture will change so I can stay home to care for our kids +1, we are far from hardship or suffering.  All we want to do is obey what we believe God is asking us to do.  We put our "yes" on the table when we chose to follow Him.  We're not better than anyone, just normal people who are surrendered to Jesus.  He wants to use all of us in the place where we live and work, with the unique gifts and passions He has given us to be a demonstration of His love and Truth to those around us.  Sometimes He asks us to go somewhere very far from home and sometimes He asks us to stay right where we are.  

We each have a note to play in the most breathtaking song that will ever be played to the hearts of mankind.  

Although I do not know what the future holds, I feel sure that we have been given our note to play in this next season of life.  We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus to babies and toddlers who need someone to risk their hearts being broken so that theirs can find healing, or stay in tact.  Kids who come into foster care are scared.  They are not in control of anything going on around them or to them.  They cannot defend themselves.  Other grown-ups have to be willing to make the phone call to get them help.  Others have to come up with a plan and provide accountability for their parents to get clean or a grip on other issues spinning out of control in their lives.  Others have the job of looking through tons of paperwork, hearing two sides of the story, and then deciding what is best for a kid they do not know.  Others have to be willing to open their home and welcome a wounded soul into their lives and all the mess that comes with neglect and abuse.  There are even more people on the team, believe it or not, but their roles are still a little muddy.  We'll figure it out as we go, I guess.

The bottom line is that there are children who, with no intervention, will suffer abuse their entire life, if they survive it.  Chances are good that they will repeat the cycle and the brokenness will continue.  That is the only reality they know.  Those of us who have never experienced this are blessed beyond measure.  To know that we are loved and never wonder if we will have our basic needs met is but a dream for some.  While every scenario of abuse and neglect is complicated and different, I cannot live like it isn't happening. I cannot shake my head at the news when these stories are told and continue insulating my life from their pain.  I cannot live my life and say that I love like Jesus loves if I choose to do nothing.  This has been my crossroad.  I was in a pile of tears every time this came up for a while.  And it seemed to come up everywhere, all of the time. Thankfully, Jeff came to this crossroad with me...in less dramatic fashion. He just quietly said yes when God began stirring our hearts.  Big surprise, right?

We know this will affect our kids.  We will do our best to protect them from harm, but I have no doubt that some aspects of this will be hard for them.  They will have to share their home, toys, and parents' attention with someone else.  There will be more tears and raw emotions inside of our walls.  They will learn to love a little boy or girl and then have to say goodbye.  Their childlike belief that the world is a kind place will be challenged by the reality that not all grown-ups are safe.  And maybe, just maybe, God will use this to turn their hearts toward Him and they will learn to love like He loves along the way.  I want to protect them but I want to trust God with their hearts even more.  If He intends this for our good, then He will use it for their good too.  If it becomes unhealthy, we promise to pull the plug.

So, here we are.  We stand in the doorway of the next season of our life.  We have completed paperwork, classes, and home study visits.  We will sign on one final dotted line in the next couple of weeks and then wait for a phone call.  I have butterflies in my stomach.  I know this has the potential to be the most difficult thing we have ever walked through, but also the most beautiful.  
 

"But don't just listen to God's word.  You must do what it says.  Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.  For if you listen to the word and don't obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.  You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.  But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.  If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.  Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."  James 1:22-27 NLT

What is your note to play?  Whatever it is, play your heart out.