Last Christmas Jeff and I decided we would at least try to learn the skill of making tortillas to make her proud, and to at least possess the knowledge should it become necessary to make our own someday. If we are going to learn, we want to learn from the best. She graciously and patiently instructed us.
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| First try at rolling them out and frying them for Jeff and I. I'm not saying which one of us made the nice round one and which one of us made the wonky shaped one. I'm just simply posting a picture. :) |
Truth be told, Jeff and I tried to make these once by
reading the recipe but it quickly became obvious that we needed a hands on
lesson. There is no substitute for being
taught by the expert. It was fun and I
at least feel like I COULD get the hang of it…someday. For now, we will still be happily receiving
shipments from Iowa.
While I am on the topic of my grandma I wanted to elaborate
on the picture that some of you probably saw on Facebook the other
day. I took the kids up to my parents’
house to spend the afternoon with both of my grandmas. I cannot tell you how lucky I feel to still
have them both in my life. My grandma
Helen (pictured on the left) is now 91 and my grandma Marianne (pictured on the
right) will be 85 in a few weeks. I know
some of you don’t have your grandparents around anymore. I feel that gap and loss with my
grandpas. One of them died when I was
only a year old and I lost my other grandpa just a couple of weeks before Micah
was born. It’s hard to not know your
grandparents and it’s hard to lose them.
So, please believe me, I know what a gift I have every time I get to
spend time with them.
After dinner (I’ll give you exactly one guess as to what we
ate) I sat at the table with my grandmas and talked. We talked about everything from giving birth to
nursing homes. They can both remember
how long they labored and how much their children weighed. My grandma Helen's initial response to how long she labored was, "LONG ENOUGH." Ha! I can’t come up with my kids’ exact birth
weight anymore.
How in the world can they remember that?
I was amazed at the details they could recount7. I don’t know exactly how we got there, but somehow we arrived at
the topic of growing old.
The floodgates of
wisdom were opened to me.
The first thing that I remember my grandma Marianne saying
was that her mom (who lived to be 102) used to tell her, “It takes so little to
make an old person happy. It just takes
a post card, a phone call, or a visit to make your day.” She said she knows that to be true now. So many elderly people are lonely. Friends and family pass away before them
and others move away, leaving them alone during some of the most vulnerable years
in life. My great grandma Mary lived
with her and my grandpa Bill for nine years before she went into a nursing
home. She said it was so hard to walk
away on the day they moved her in. Both
of their moms (my great grandmas) lived in the same town, and eventually the same nursing
home before they passed away. My grandma
and grandpa were faithful to spend time with them there after they were no
longer able to care for them at home.
I already observed this in my childhood, but my grandma described in more detail about the decidedly different outlook each of them had on life and the situation of finding
themselves in a nursing home. My grandma
Mary never once complained about the food, her roommate, or the care she
received. She was content. My grandma Agnes struggled with contentment
throughout her life and it continued during her time in the nursing home. It’s a cautionary tale to me. Discontentment in our hearts never just
magically goes away. Even if you set
your life up to serve your own happiness, and others do the same, no one will
win. The heart is never quite satisfied,
or never for long. The craving to make our world always happy
and comfortable is such a chasing after the wind. Those who pursue it the hardest are usually
the most sad and discontent in the end. She told me that my grandma Mary confessed to her one day that
she would often lay her head down and pretend to be asleep when my grandma
Agnes would stop by her room to chat. She just couldn't take the complaining! Not
long after that my grandma Agnes said, “Why, I can NEVER find your mother awake when
I stop by!” It was so hard for her to
not laugh because she knew what was happening.
I DIED. These stories are
priceless!
When I asked my grandmas how they felt about the possibility
of moving into a nursing home at some point, my grandma Marianne said, “Well, I’ve
decided that the best thing you can do is just to accept it.” I assume she learned this by watching the different
ways her own mother and mother in-law handled that transition. Accepting unwanted changes always takes time
but I hope I always move in the direction of acceptance in things that I cannot
change. We struggle with growing old in
our culture. We fight it with every skin
cream and surgery known to man. “Never
ask a lady her age,” they say. We can be so insecure about growing old. We do not honor the aged and
revere their wisdom. We foolishly
disdain the blessing of being able to grow old and rich in wisdom. Nothing can be gained by trying to turn back
the hands of time. IT CANNOT BE
DONE. We should take care of our health,
but we cannot make time stand still. If
wisdom and eternity is our aim, why would we want it to anyway?
As we were in the middle of our conversation, her phone
started ringing. She pulled it out and
said, “Oh, that’s just my reminder to stop and pray. It goes off every day at 7:14.” She immediately quoted 2 Chronicles 7:14,
which is the verse that prompts her and some others from her church to pray
every day at that time. I’m sorry if your grandma is not this
amazing. I asked her what she prays
for every day. She said, “Oh, it just
depends. I pray for our military and
their families. I pray for our country’s
leaders, my family, friends, and others I know who need prayer. There are so many people that need
prayer. And I pray for people that are
lonely. I think one of the worst things
in life is to end up being lonely.” I swallowed hard and should have removed myself
from the table right then to go repent of my own prayerlessness, but I didn't want to be awkward. She was
teaching me so much without even meaning to…because she is just wise. She can’t help it. It’s just who she has become after 84 years
of living life with a teachable heart.
I drove home with a full heart that night. I had been loved deeply, listened to, and
taught in those few short hours. I am so
blessed. If you have a grandparent that
is still living and loves you, please go sit with them when you can. Or, maybe we could go sit with someone in a
nursing home near us. Ask them to tell us stories. Ask about the people they
love that are living or have passed away.
Ask about the changes they have seen during the course of their
life. Ask them what is most important in
life. Listen and learn. We may observe a
cautionary tale, and we may strike gold in wisdom.
It will probably make their day, and it will probably end up
making ours too.
