Our Way of Hope

I remember vividly the day I saw the video of the girls moving into Lulu Place two years ago.  The procession of singing and dancing made my heart leap and my eyes leak.  It was like watching a glimpse of heaven. Their celebration was so free and uninhibited.   I wondered if I would have felt free enough to join them or if it would have made me uncomfortable (ha!), but I was absolutely drawn in by it.  I wanted to share in their joy.

And that is when I knew, I really want to go there someday. 

My heart has always been stirred for the orphan, situational and true.  Foster care has opened my eyes to the fact that even though some children have parents who are living, they may not have parents who can care for them.  When that happens, they become a situational orphan.  They need someone to step in for the short term or long term to give them a family.  I am a firm believer that this should be the right of every child, everywhere.  No child should be without the love of a family. 

When Lulu Place opened my heart resonated with their mission and what they want to provide for these girls.  Adoption is not always possible and not every country has the infrastructure to provide foster care, ensure the safety of children, and provide services to biological families to help them get back on their feet.   With the support of His Voice Global, Rift Valley Fellowship is providing this type of support on a micro level.  They not only provide a safe and loving environment for the girls who live there, but they also love their families.  They continually offer support and opportunities for their moms to leave prostitution and make their living another way. 

But if I am going to be completely honest, I got on the plane with a heart in need of encouragement that change is possible for the addict and parent living this sort of lifestyle.

Foster care has left me a little jaded in some areas and I hate that. 

I was hoping that God would overwhelm me with miracle stories of His restoration and redemption.  I don’t want to be jaded, I want to believe that all things are possible with God. 

On the first day of the women’s conference I heard a woman get up and share her testimony.  She had one of her daughters, who lives at Lulu Place, come up and stand next to her.  She shared about the life she used to live and the desperation she felt when her daughter was born.  She already had other children and felt overwhelmed by the reality of needing to care for another baby.  In her desperation she attempted to end her baby’s life.  She shared the details of those moments and I was caught off guard by her honesty and willingness to share such a vulnerable part of her story.  I also couldn’t imagine being a daughter, standing next to my mom, hearing those details about the first days of my life.  She was visibly emotional, as anyone would be.  

But the reason she could stand up there that day and tell her story is because it didn’t end in despair or murder.  God entered their story and a miracle happened.  He did not let her mom succeed in her attempt to end her daughter’s life.  He saved that baby and she is now 14 years old.  She was one of the sweetest, most affectionate, girls I had the chance to interact with at Lulu Place.  Her mom’s life has changed too.  She has left prostitution and is part of the Women of Courage ministry at RVF.  She is caring for her other children, living in a home at the IDP camp with the support of HVG and RVF, and working toward independence through making beautiful goods as an artisan and cleaning houses.  She is doing so well and gave testimony before all the women at the conference that God had changed her life.

An actual picture of redemption and restoration was right before my very eyes. 

 I found her daughter when testimony time was over.  I put my hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.  I said, “You are a miracle.  I have a little girl who is a miracle too.  God has protected both of you and loves you so deeply.  He has big plans for your life and He has big plans for my little girl.  I will hold you in my heart because you remind me of her.  You stay in school and keep learning.  Keep loving God and following Him.  I’m so excited to see what His plans are for you.” 

She smiled and I could tell her heart was swelling with joy.  She absorbed those words like a sponge.  Every time she came up and wanted a hug or to lay her head on my shoulder I felt like I was getting to be a teeny tiny part of God’s continual healing in her life.  I feel like God is using healthy love and affection in her life now to give back what she lacked when she was little.  I’m so glad that she is in a safe place to seek that out and receive it.  Her heart is still tender toward God and others when it could have long been hardened by now. 

What a miracle. 

After the first day of the women’s conference we took a day off because Kenya was holding their primaries for their presidential election in August.  Unsure of what that day might hold, we paused the conference and decided to spend the day at Lulu Place.  Obviously, not one single person on our team objected to the change of plans.  Along with the Lulu girls, they had also invited their siblings, moms, and the Way of Hope boys to join us.  There were probably 40 kids total, plus adults.  

After lunch, we split up into stations and played games with the kids.  It was crazy and chaotic!  Kids are kids in every culture.  We had toddlers and teenagers, and every age in between.  The language barrier made it a little challenging with giving instructions, but I almost doubt it mattered much.  Kids get overcome with excitement even when they understand you perfectly.  It was fun and stretching.  I was at the parachute station with my friend, Melissa, and when we ran out of ways to make that fun the traditional way we rolled it up and turned our station into a make shift limbo/hurdle line.  They loved it and we survived!

After that we split up into craft stations.  I had the big idea to make play dough.  After we had gone through our first round of activities I was questioning this decision now.  It turned out to be super fun, though.  At first, the kids were very confused when they saw the flour and salt on the table.  They thought they were coming to our station to make food, and excited about it. When I started to pour in a cup of salt some of them said, “NOOOO!”  They thought I was ruining it!   I had a moment of guilt for using something so precious to them for something fun and silly.   Esther wanted us to do this with them though.  Their bellies were filled and this was a day of God’s abundance.  They loved it.  It was so fun to watch them play with it and see what they created. 

There were a few boys that stood out to me all day.  They were young teenagers who walked about four miles to get to Lulu Place that day.  They came because they knew Amber, Danielle, and all the women who work for RVF.  They knew it would be a fun day and that they would be fed a meal.  They knew these things because they lived at Way of Hope until recently.  The boys are currently staying in the same building as RVF in the middle of Maai Mahiu.  They have land purchased to build a home for the boys, but have been waiting for the remaining $32,000 to come in so they can begin building.  They have waited so that they do not have to take out any loans, which I really respect.  The hard part about the current situation is that the boys have no yard to play in or space between them and the streets.  Most of them have been living on the streets before coming to live at Way of Hope.  They have had to fend for themselves for so long that it’s more comfortable.  Having a safe and loving place to call home is what they want deep down, but it’s hard when it comes with rules you aren’t used to and going to school. 

As soon as they leave the walls of Way of Hope the streets beckon them to come back to their “freedom.”  It sounds so much like the way our enemy tries to convince us that we can do a better job of securing our own good and happiness without God.  From the outside, we can see so clearly that what is being offered to them at Way of Hope is SO MUCH BETTER than what is offered to them on the streets.  How could they choose that for their future?  Why are they self-sabotaging? 

It was an echo of foster care…

How many kids the world over struggle with this?

It’s not just the rules that they are having a hard time with; it’s their worthiness to receive love.

I saw how some of the boys wanted to play it cool when they first arrived, but they couldn’t help themselves as the day wore on.  They were like 9 year old boys on the inside, longing to be carefree.  They just wanted to be kids for a little while.  They played all the games, they danced, they made sidewalk chalk drawings and play dough alligators.  It was an escape from their current reality.  I know they had to really want to be there because of the sheer distance they walked that day.  One of the boys was making the coolest stuff with his play dough and drew beautiful pictures with the sidewalk chalk.  He is talented and smart.    

As a mother who wants her son to live to his potential my emotions almost got the best of me when I watched him, knowing that he is choosing to live on the streets and not go to school. 

I wanted to speak words to him that a mother should be saying.  Words that can carry their weight with trust already established because of the nurturing she has given him his whole life.  A mother and father should be saying these words to him, but they can’t.  So, feeling nudged by the Spirit I just said the words I thought I needed to say and hoped that he would hear them, not from me, but from a Heavenly Father who holds all the trust and security this young man needs in his life.   I encouraged him in the incredible talents I saw, encouraged him to go back to Way of Hope and go to school…and while I talked he just looked at the ground.  I know I’m not the only one who spoke similar words of encouragement to him and the other boys that day. 

What felt crystal clear to me in that moment was that he doesn’t believe he can go back and he doesn’t believe he’s worth it.  I felt so sad, but I could tell something significant was going on.  God was speaking to him and stirring in his heart.

I feel like God was whispering this to him all day long…“Even though you have walked away from the good I’m offering you, I still love you.  I’m still pursuing you.”

God is not finished with him, or any of those young men.

Our whole team came away from that day both heavy hearted, but also with a sense of determination to see the money get raised for Way of Hope. 

We need to get these boys out of the city.

Pastor Isaac has said the same thing for a long time.  They are going to keep leaving and going back to the streets until they get Way of Hope built.  It’s so beneficial for them to have a new environment, space, and a different culture surrounding them that will help them break away from life on the streets. 

On our last day of the trip we sat and brainstormed ways that each of us, in our unique lives and spheres of influence, could help see the $32,000 get raised a.s.a.p.  I thought, if all seven of us (not including Amber and Danielle because they are always raising support for His Voice) split it up, that would be so manageable.  There were some creative ideas being thrown around and it was exciting to dream together, and I felt such faith that God was about to do something big.  I had a lump in my throat throughout most of the meeting. 

How amazing is it that we got plucked out of our little lives all over the U.S. and God brought us together to do something together that we couldn’t have dreamed of just weeks earlier.  Our lives all look so different, but we were together in Kenya in April 2017 because God cares about the people of Maai Mahiu so much and is moving our hearts and resources to demonstrate His love for them.  What a privilege to be plucked out of my life to be a part of what He is doing. 

The sweetest times in my life are hands down the ones that are not about me, when I get to be a part of what God is doing in the lives of other people and be a blessing to them.  There is nothing as fun or freeing, faith building, or joy giving. 

What a sweet reminder to bring home to real life. 

During that meeting I also began to not feel well.  In fact, I ended up being sick for the next 24 hours on our journey home.  Miserable.  Shortly after returning home three of our kids came down with strep.  A few days after we seemed to be getting over that I came down with bronchitis.  Several days into my antibiotic I now have a bad sinus infection. 

It has felt like an onslaught of sickness and problems around the house since coming home.  I have wanted to tell you the stories before life moves on and I forget.  It has just felt so hard to put fingers to the keyboard because I haven’t felt well.  I have felt it starting to slip through my fingers.

It is now Mother’s Day and I home alone.  I sent Jeff and the kids on to spend the day with his side of the family.  This isn’t how I would have imagined or preferred to spend today, but I trust God wanted me to get alone with Him.  He has created space for me to sit down with uninterrupted time, thanks to my sinus infection.  He can use all things...

I have wondered if you would still want to know about my trip.  I am writing it down for my own memory, but also because I believe this still matters.   The stories still need to be told.  So many of you contributed to my going on this trip and I felt you with me as I went.  This was for your faith to be encouraged too.  Thank you for your obedience to give sacrificially and to pray for us while we were there.  Who knows, you may have been on your knees for us when we were having specific conversations with the ladies or kids, or when we were pushing our van out of the mud less than 150 feet away from a lion.   Whenever you prayed, if you did, it mattered.  Thank you for going on this trip with me. 

What I have been MOST excited to tell you is this…

The day after we got home Danielle texted us and said that a new donor to His Voice called her to have a conversation and by the end of it, Way of Hope WAS FULLY FUNDED.  They wrote a check for the full amount.  Building can begin. 

Image taken from His Voice Global's Facebook page.

Before we could even use our awesome ideas God said, “I’ve got this.  Remember I own the cattle on a thousand hills.” 

I’m in tears again just being reminded that God sees us in our struggles and He loves us more deeply than we can imagine.  He can bring help from across the street or the other side of the globe.  The boys in Maai Mahiu have no idea what rescue is coming for them and just how much their Heavenly Father cares about them. 

So, I guess we’re off the hook now.  No more funds are needed! 

Just kidding.  Once Way of Hope is built and furnished there will be monthly operational costs.  They will need food, cooks, clothes, security guards, staff to run the home, water, electricity, school tuition, etc.  The total monthly operational costs are about $3000, which is crazy cheap given how much is being accomplished.  At the same time this is a big deal and this monthly support will need to be raised in order for the home to stay open for the boys. 

As Jeff and I have thought about how we can help as a family we have decided we would like to help raise the first month of operational costs after Way of Hope opens.  We have some ideas up our sleeves so be looking for some pool parties with “concessions” and pop up lemonade stands in our neighborhood this summer.  Woot! 

Another way that I feel especially compelled to see this dream come true is to host a big celebration in honor of Leah’s adoption(iversary).  Do you know that we still haven’t done that?  We are quickly approaching our first anniversary of that special day.  I have felt for an entire year that we didn’t celebrate that day and what it meant for the life our family adequately.  We went out for Mexican food with our friends and family, but I have wanted to throw a big party for a whole year.   It’s like we had a wedding with no reception or a baby with no baby shower (which is actually kind of true).  This just doesn’t feel right to me.  This NEEDS to be celebrated. 

I think it will mean even more to me now after the year we have walked together.  God has done miracles in my heart and in Leah’s life over the last year and my heart is ready to celebrate it all in a fullness I could not have known a year ago.  As the day approaches I will share more about this in detail, but we would love for people who love her to give to Way of Hope in her honor. 

Knowing Leah and being a part of her story helped me see those boys and girls, and their moms, with eyes that know what a miracle it is to be protected and rescued by a God who loves all of us from America to Africa.  In all of our brokenness and hopeless situations, He sees us and He cares.  I looked into the faces of “Leahs” who found their rescue later than she did, and some women like Leah’s bio mom who have found their rescue before she has, but I have indeed been reminded that none of us are outside of His reach.

Thanks for helping me go.  I hope this experience is not lost on me, but even more than that, I hope it’s only the beginning of something bigger He plans to do.  Maybe you need to go next or maybe He will nudge your heart to obey in another way, but I hope God uses this in your life too. 

He is our way of hope, forever.  Never forget that.

Much love to you all.  So thankful for you.