Life has been normal, as in, we have been sick a lot and there is general chaos pretty much all the time. Our schedule really hasn't been full, it's just what living with four young kids is like. We have still somehow managed (with the help of amazing grandparents) to get our house decluttered and ready to put on the market. It feels good now that it's finished, but I NEVER want to move again. I've already decided I will live forever in Columbia.
The bad news? This move isn't even close to being over.
Help me, Jesus.
Do some people enjoy this? It's life sucking to me. I don't know if I have the strength to pack up the rest of this house, fix up another, unpack, and raise kids at the same time. How can this physically be done? Someone testify. Everyone else, I recommend that do NOT come close if you plan to make light of it or tell me how easy it will be. I'm a little touchy about it right now. Give me 6 months and I'll forget these labor pains. For now, pretend to understand.
So, the "for sale" sign will be in our yard tomorrow. It will make all of this feel incredibly real.
One thing that will keep us tied to our current life in Jeff City is still having a foster kid from Cole County. Given the fairly small distance and where we are in the case, we are not hindered in our move. I will still enjoy getting to see our team every once in a while, but overall, we are ready for this case to be closed. We really feel like L has waited long enough and deserves to move on.
The juvenile office submitted her Termination of Parental Rights packet to the court system in February. We had been waiting for that to get finished since late summer so we were relieved that her paperwork was finally moving. Our juvenile officer worked hard over the last several weeks to get her biological parents served the paperwork, as well as getting our initial court date. Just so you know, there are often multiple court dates before you even get a TPR trial date, but we were told that we would get one today because of the great work our juvenile officer did. So thankful for her.
We showed up at 1 p.m. today, like we do every few months, and waited in the hallway outside of Circuit Court 19. It was a full docket and you never know when your case will be called. You just show up and wait....and wait...and wait. Foster care is one big lesson in waiting and not being in control. If you desire to learn patience, please sign up.
Anyway, we weren't last. Woo hoo! We were second to last and called in just before panic set in about who we could call to go pick up our kids from school.
We sat down in the front row, the judge acknowledged everyone on the team who was present, and asked what we were here to do today. Our juvenile officer told him that we were pursuing TPR, that everyone had been served, but the biological parents were not in attendance.
He asked again if her parents had been served, so our JO reiterated how they were notified. Then he started talking and used the word "default" a few times. We had no idea what he was saying but when he finished, he asked when we were coming back to court (this is what he always asks).
Everyone just kind of sat there, dumbfounded.
In my head I was shouting, "Someone ask for a trial date!! Someone take the lead! Why is no one talking?" I was panicking a little, because I knew that if we didn't get a date on the calendar it would push everything back until we could see him again in May and ask for a trial date then. Our JO just said that we are scheduled to come back in May. He talked about some paperwork that needed to get done before then, and that was that.
I looked at our GAL and she was smiling and pointed us out to the hallway.
I was not smiling. I thought this did not go as we hoped.
When we all gathered in the hallway the rest of the team appeared to be in shock, and we were just confused. Our caseworker, GAL, and juvenile officer checked with each other. "Did he just do that? Did that just happen?" They brought out the juvenile office attorney to make sure they heard him correctly.
Confirmed.
He had just made his decision. He ruled by default (because her biological parents did not show up today, and maybe because this has been stretched out long enough) that this case would not need a trial.
After appropriate paperwork is filed, the TPR will be granted.
That happened TODAY.
Why was everyone shocked? Because no one has ever known him to do that...ever.
Jeff and I were now in shock. We hardly knew what to ask. We just knew this was big and God just did something there. Everyone knew something very unusual happened there.
I remember standing in that exact same hallway a year and a half ago with L's mom. She had just received what could only be explained as God's grace in that courtroom moments before. There is no other reason that a judge, foster mom, caseworker, and GAL would want her good and still encourage her to keep fighting when she had already screwed up in a few short weeks. Her and I walked out of the courtroom and as soon as we got to that hallway she buried her face in my shoulder and wept. She knew something was "different" about this time around (this was not her first kid to be in foster care) and she felt like we all wanted her to succeed. I'm not sure if anyone in her life has ever wanted her to succeed at the right things. The judge was almost pastoral. I was awed by how he handled his interaction with her with both soberness AND mercy. She didn't know what to do with it. She just cried and cried. For a few brief moments that day, she was honest. What did she get in return for showing up and facing the truth? Grace and mercy.
She was undone by it.
I left the courthouse that day in July with the same strange feeling that I had today.
GOD WAS THERE.
His presence was thick and there was no denying something happened that shouldn't have happened...and it was wonderful.
On both occasions I have walked that city block back to my van and sat in the drivers seat and wept. I have said, "What is this???" How have I been dropped into the middle of this story? No matter how you tilt it, there is always pain and loss somewhere in the picture. It's broken and horrible, and yet I feel like I'm walking on holy ground every time I enter in. I have never felt more alive and sure of God's presence than in that courthouse.
I know our story is not everyone's story when it comes to foster care. God must know my emotional wherewithal couldn't handle a really complicated case. He has bigger plans for some of you! Even so, it hasn't been easy. When the hard days have come, He has been tender and merciful. He has shown up and moved in ways I have never experienced before. He has shown Jeff and I the depth and breadth of our community when we have needed support...and it's deeper and wider than we realized before we set out on this journey.
And even if she went home today, nothing would change that. He is good.
I give Him praise (THROUGH LOTS OF TEARS) for His incredible kindness today.
Just....WOW. What joy and a deep sense of His intimate care over L's life and ours.
He is a good good Father.
***We'll keep you posted on an adoption date sometime this summer!
