Summer...and the day I smelled like the primate house

Summer is over.  What in the world?

When school first got out we went through our usual near death experience of learning to be around each other all day, every day, again.  I was ready for school to start again the week Micah and Avery got out.  None of our children received the personality type that just likes to follow what the others are doing.  They all have their own idea of how they want things to go and don't bend easily.  It's so great.  Maybe they will be world leaders someday, raising the banner for issues that matter, unwavering in the face of opposition.  Even better, maybe they are going to be best friends and start some initiative together that will end world hunger.  Jeff and I will cry tears of joy as we see the labor and toil of 20+ years of parenting blooming before us.  We'll say, "Just look at them. It worked!  They DO love each other."  We tell them all of the time that they are each others best friends, so they need to act like it."  I know you can't force friendship, but I'm going to give brainwashing a try. There are bright spots that give me hope that it will come to pass, but time will tell.  Anyway, we survived the transition and then I got used to having 4 kids everyday.  While it is easier when someone is gone,  it's not the same.  Now I find myself feeling a little sad that summer is over.  Go figure. 

We had boring days, constant conflict days, and we also had some really fun days this summer.  The best part, by far, was having Baby L around.  Our kids LOVE her.  That is for another post though.

We did our usual family trips to Super Summer (youth camp) and The Project (mission trip) in St. Louis.  Our kids will not remember many family vacations in the summer but I think they will have great memories from time spent at both of those places every year.  They get to play with friends, eat ice cream in the cafeteria every day, get loved on by their college friends, and (for my own survival) we always get away and go places when Jeff is busy during the day.  The pool has become one of my favorite places on earth.  It is our happy place.  It is the one location where my kids never fight and everyone can have a good time.   Micah was even brave enough to go down the big slide this year!  I was so proud of him!  I am most sad that summer is over because we can no longer spend our days here.  Sigh.

 

We also made our annual trip to the zoo while we were in St. Louis.  This particular tradition seems like a good idea every year...and every year I end up asking myself, "WHY?????"  3 years ago when we went I was getting over a stomach bug, still dealing with morning sickness, and we were toting a 3 year old and an 11 month around.  It was also the same day that area schools were taking their field trip to the zoo.  I was miserable and wanted to be done before we even got to the entrance.  This year was about the same.  While we searched for parking baby L was not happy because she had dirtied her diaper. And because I didn't know how long it would take to find a parking spot I decided that I could just change her on my lap.  I am used to doing that with wet diapers so I thought I could handle it and save us time once we got parked.  I checked up her back for a blow out and thought we were good to go.  I pulled off her pants and brushed them across the front of my shirt as I was going to put them aside.  I look down to see poo was down her pant leg and NOW ALL OVER MY SHIRT.  Perfect.  I cannot convey how horrible formula diapers smell, except to say that we both smelled like the primate house.  Can you remember that smell and how it hits you like a brick wall the moment you set foot inside?  When we walked in to see the monkeys later I thought, "Yep. This is it. This is where we belong L." I didn't bring an extra shirt so I was reduced to wiping off what I could with wipes.  The only redeeming part of this was that I had on a charcoal colored t-shirt so you couldn't really see it.  Anyway, after we finally got parked everyone piled out of the van.  We brought another little friend with us so we had 5 kids total.  Honestly, her presence kept all of us from losing our ever loving minds.  The kids got along better with her in the mix and I didn't want to scar her by acting how I felt at certain moments. :)  Thank you, Haven.  My next genius idea was that I thought I could just carry L in the moby wrap and we could use the stroller for Avery and Ella.  Once we walked about 10 miles (or maybe it was a 1/2mile, I don't know) and got through the front gates I immediately decided that there was no way I could carry L around for the next 2 hours.  Jeff turned around (with a happy heart ;)) and went back to get her car seat. We were meeting up with some good friends, the Barbs, for this day-o-fun.  I met them just past the entrance with all of the kids, trying to wrangle on the sunshade that goes on the stroller. Micah immediately runs off to the nearest gift stand to tempt his unsatisfied heart.  From the start of the day he was obsessed with his desire to get something...anything.  My confession is that we created this monster by getting him something the last 2 years.  He would have been happy to buy something and leave without seeing one animal.  I was sweaty, frustrated, and ready to make a "trip to the bathroom" with my son less than 5 minutes in.  I felt bad for Haven and the Barbs who had inadvertently got sucked into this.  I couldn't even fake it when Kelly asked how we were doing.  Did I mention that I mistakenly thought it was going to be cool that day so I was wearing jeans?  So as we set off on this fun day in the sun I had on jeans, a stinky shirt, had a heat radiating baby attached to me, while pushing an eighteen wheeler a double stroller with a grumpy six year old at my side.  This, my friends, is why I do not even envy those of you who go to Disney World.  Happiest place on Earth?  I feel about 95% sure we would not come home alive.

We recovered and managed to have somewhat of a good time.  My feet were screaming by the time it was over but we conquered.  The funny thing is, the kids look back on it and think it was one of the best days ever.  I am thankful for laid back friends who endured with us.

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If you read that whole story you deserve a medal. Now I leave you with pictures that document some of the highlights of our summer.  This is my "closure."  It's time to get excited about football, changing leaves, hoodies, and all things pumpkin.

First Cardinal game for the girls!  Mimi and Papa came over to St. Louis so someone could watch baby L and Papa could join us.

A rare selfie and this is the face he makes. :)

Obviously Jeff was in a silly mood.  I love catching that on camera. :)

Going down the big slide!

Getting some bike riding practice in...it was clear that we need to do this more. :)

Fun at Stephen's Lake Park with Micah's good friend, Addison.

Trips to the pool are always better with Bri and ice cream sandwiches.

Avery turned 4 this summer!!!

Annual Father's Day breakfast at the Mark Twain Dinette in Hannibal.

We took the kids to Java Jive, where I worked during college, to get some ice cream.

Baby L got to meet 2 of her foster great-grandmas on this day.  This is my grandma Marianne feeding her.  Sweet memory!

For Avery's birthday I took her to get her nails done for the first time.  Her friend Riley got to come with her.

It was fun to have a girl's day with some of our best friends!

Micah got really good on the scooter this summer.

We made several trips to the park during the summer when we needed to get out of the house.  I am thankful for some good parks here in Jefferson City!

The Finish Line

My heart is heavy today.  Anyone else?

There are times when this is warranted, and perhaps, exactly how we are supposed to feel.

  

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14

1    There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
      a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³    a time to kill and a time to heal,
      a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
      a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
      a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶    a time to search and a time to give up,
      a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷    a time to tear and a time to mend,
      a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸    a time to love and a time to hate,
      a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet^[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

I will not attempt to explain all of that.  I am in no form or fashion remotely close to a Bible scholar.  I know one pretty well that I can point you to with all of your questions though (you're welcome, Bill Victor ;).  I will say that this pretty much sums life though.  Like it or not.  Knowing all of the "whys" or not.  When sin entered the world, one side of the equation was set into motion.  All of the times to mourn, die, weep, throw away, tear down, hate, kill...this is part of life on earth because sin entered the picture.  

  

The horror of what is happening to religious minorities in Iraq, Robin Williams' untimely death, the upheaval in St. Louis that is deeply rooted in racial conflict, the waiting and unrest for friends and children in foster care waiting for judges to make decisions about their future, the grips of addiction on people's lives around me...these things in particular make my heart heavy today.  And this is my limited knowledge of suffering and pain today.  I am keenly aware that suffering is deep and widespread in the hearts of people I know nothing about.  God in His mercy spares us from knowing everything, because our hearts are not built to handle the weight of it all.  I, myself, am not directly suffering from any of these things, so I could just turn the music up and forget about it.  What can I do about it anyway?  It tempts my heart to despair.  Who wants to feel despair?  

But I feel as though God will not let me forget about it today.  

Not every crisis can be solved, I cannot fix people, I won't even have the chance to meet most of these people who I know are suffering and hurting today.  So, what then?

I hear Him say, as I recall the counsel of His Word, “Care for the hurting and the oppressed.  PRAY.  PRAY.  PRAY.  Abide...stay connected to Me.  Keep your heart on the altar and yes on the table.  Do whatever I ask you to do next.”  I don't have to dream up ways to insert myself into these problems or be a hero for anyone.  I only need to obey.  He doesn't speak to me in riddles.  He doesn't play hide and seek.  When I just stay connected to Him, He lets me know (sometimes with a nagging feeling) what He wants me to do.  I tend to over complicate things and  I don't always listen.  I definitely don't always obey. 

What I know God wants me to do today is pray. 

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.  Psalm 62:8

 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:4-7

What I rejoice in today amidst the heaviness, especially when I think about the persecution of those who follow Jesus, is this:  HE WILL CARRY US SAFELY HOME.  This is so temporary.  The rest of forever is waiting at the finish line.  None of us know where the finish line will be or how we will cross it, but for every follower of Christ we know at least in part what waits on the other side...HIS MORE WONDERFUL THAN WE CAN EVEN IMAGINE FACE.  No more tears.  No more suffering.  All wrongs made right.  Eternal joy.  

This is the other side of the equation in Ecclesiastes.  Thank God for giving us a reason and time to dance, plant, heal, laugh, mend, gather...He has not abandoned us.  He is still moving and working and setting eternity in the hearts of men, women, and children.  He is with us and at work in the world.  I may not understand why He heals on one occasion and not another, but I trust HIM.  And I trust that one day I will understand when I am in His presence.

This is what keeps me from despairing about what is going on in Iraq.  This is what keeps me from loving my life on earth too much.  Losing sight of eternity is dangerous on both ends of the spectrum, whether we are suffering or enjoying all the good things earth has to offer.  When I fixate on the temporary I make idols of suffering AND gifts.  

I imagine this is crystal clear for many believers today.  

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Matthew 5:10  

  

I rejoice that some of our brothers and sisters are receiving the most glorious "welcome home" that there will ever be.  I am thankful for a God who will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  While we grieve here for the atrocities we see, there is already a celebration in heaven for those who have crossed their finish line.  

God, please help us to be brave, faithful, and to love our enemies all the way to ours.