Holding A Miracle

There is an ebb and flow to life.  We all experience this. There are calm seasons and there are busy seasons.  Sometimes things gradually change and sometimes your world is turned upside down in a day. You remember how I started my last post? 

 "It has been pretty calm here on the home front..."  

That makes me laugh in my head every time I read it.  Over the last week our world has changed so fast my head is spinning.  Most of you already know, but in case you don't, we got our first foster care placement last Saturday afternoon. I was standing in line to pay at the salon and saw that I had a voice mail.  A caseworker from our county's children's division left a message.  She wanted to know if we would be interested in fostering a baby girl who had just been born on Wednesday.  She had been exposed to unsafe things during pregnancy but was doing great.  She was going to be released on Saturday.  Jeff had also received a phone call about it and sent me a text saying to call him ASAP.  (If I use all caps it just means I am saying it with emphasis or a little more emotion.  If Jeff uses all caps it means the sky is falling or we just won a million dollars.)  I would have been alarmed if I didn't already know what it was about.  I called him back we decided in about 10 seconds that our answer was yes. I hung up the the phone and let it sink in.

We are getting a baby tomorrow.  WE ARE GETTING A BABY TOMORROW.

I felt excited and scared...happy and sad.  My mental checklist kicked into high gear and I went straight to Target.  I paced the aisles waiting for the caseworker to call and tell me what size of diapers to buy and what kind of formula she needed.  Our friends rallied and helped us get what we needed on short notice and people prayed.  If ever I have felt like others were praying for me, it has been over the last week.  There have been so many ways that He has provided, worked out details, and given us peace that passes understanding.

We walked into a very quiet hospital on Saturday afternoon and met a caseworker and nurse who had us go to an unoccupied room.  They wheeled baby girl in the room and began walking us through the discharge information.  I didn't get to have a super special moment of doting and crying over her like I wanted.  It was all business.  She gave us a checklist of health symptoms to watch for, gave us minimal information about her birth mom, told us she was a good eater and handed us an envelope for the pediatrician.  They walked us down, we put her in the van, and off we went.  WHOA.  Just like when we took Micah home from the hospital, I felt very unprepared to be leaving the hospital with her.  Nonetheless, the wheels were turning and this is what we signed up for...the unknown.  Just so you all know, we are okay with that.  The road ahead is going to be wonderful, difficult and scary. We are going to fall in love with this little girl and we have no idea how it will all end.

But we know one thing.  She is a miracle. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you  when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. -Psalm 139:13-16