The girls have changed the landscape of "play" at our house too. The baby dolls, dress up clothes, and kitchen toys are slowly outnumbering the hot wheels and super heroes. The Legos though...they are more numerous than the stars in the sky. I love them for their magical powers to quiet Micah for hours, to rescue me from having to play pretend (I'm awful at it. It's an absolute labor of love and I wish it weren't so.) and they don't take one single battery. God bless Legos.
So, when Jeff and Micah are gone, and it's just us girls, the days look different. I steer the ship most of the time but if they had their druthers the day would go mostly like this.
- Wake up
-Eat breakfast
- Watch Mary Poppins or Sound of Music (We need to remind Mom of how awesome she could be.)
- Ask mom for a snack because we didn't get full 30 minutes ago. (We can't tell time so I wish she would stop saying "We'll have a snack at 9:30 just like we do EVERY SINGLE DAY." It's a waste of breath.)
- Dress up (Make sure we get them ALL out so we can see each of them on the floor for our next wardrobe change.)
- Change into another dress up and add accessories (Don't forget the loud shoes this time.)
- Have school time (We know that's a crap shoot.)
- Eat Lunch (Ella may or may not.)
- Put on lots of lip gloss and sing karaoke...loudly
- Ask Mom for a snack
- Change into another dress up
- Nag Mom for another snack
- Change into another dress up
You get the picture. They love to eat and be fancy. They get the former from me but not the latter. I'm yoga pants and t-shirts. They're itchy dresses and plastic shoes. I don't know where they came from. I was there when they were born though, so it must be God's sense of humor.
The dressing up process got even more involved recently. To their delight they got play make up for Christmas. Yay!!! I actually say no to it most of the time because I just don't have the inner strength to deal with the mess or the comments we would get in public. I get enough as it is when I go to the store with any number larger than 2.
A few days ago I decided to let them just go for it. It's the only way this stuff is going to disappear. It turned into the best laugh I'd had in a while. Avery, being a whole 16 months older, was clearly more qualified in make up application. She convinced Ella to let her put it on for her. I have tried to convey the "less is more" concept to Avery, but she's four and the color pallet she's working with contains dark blue and bright pink. What do you think she'll pick? Soft or bright? Basically, her motto is, more is more. I watched, listened, and took pictures because I'll definitely want to use this as an example later in life. "You totally know what you're doing, huh? Like this? That turned out pretty well didn't it!" These pictures will only get more precious with time. The commentary was just as great. Please enjoy.
Three times I heard her say, "You are NOT going to look like a clown." Maybe she was trying to will it so or convince Ella before she saw herself in the mirror. I don't know. She also said, "I am so proud of myself! You look adorable!" So, what do you think? A future in cosmetology? For the record, this is way better than when she puts it on herself without a mirror.
Ella looks like she's having the time of her life doesn't she? Then the moment when Avery handed her the mirror...
"Ew." That was her response. I was laughing out loud now. She followed that very succinct feedback with, "Did I get too much?" Without any offense taken, Avery said, "No, I did." I was proud of her. She was willing to admit that maybe it wasn't as awesome as she thought. Even better? She went right to the sink and grabbed a wash cloth.
It was purely entertainment for me in the moment, but there is a lesson here. I can't help how I'm wired you guys. I'm sorry I can't leave it there. It annoys me too.
On the one hand, sometimes we'd do well to ask someone for help. We just need to admit "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING." There is probably someone around us that could help. I make all sorts of excuses for myself in these situations. Mainly, I'm too busy and I bet they are too. I don't want to bother them. The truth is, they may actually be encouraged by our asking them for help though. Pride and busyness keep us spinning our wheels when we could be miles down the road if we would just ask for help. I'm the chief of sinners here.
On the other hand, it's so refreshing when someone isn't too proud to see something from someone else's perspective and go, "You know, I can see where you're coming from. I want to make it right. What can I do to help?" Kids can be the best teachers. At a play date with some of Micah's friends a mom was telling me about the food allergy struggles that her youngest son deals with. There was a big debacle at Thanksgiving when he had a reaction to something on his plate. Stories differed as to what went on his plate that day and reasons for his reaction. They went round and round. She was really frustrated and didn't feel like they were working as a team. I asked her, "would a simple 'I'm sorry' have been enough for you?" Her answer was YES. She would have been happy to move on if they could have just said, in effect, "You know, we may have put gravy on his potatoes. We honestly can't remember. We sure didn't mean to put him in danger. We are so sorry. We'll do our best to not let that happen again." Done. Trust restored. In each job I've had working in retail or ministry event coordinating I have observed this. It would be over something as silly as how someone ordered their coffee or messing up meeting space for an event. I think that we fear we might be giving someone ammunition for a lifetime or permission to take advantage of us when we say those dangerously humble words. I'm sorry. I messed up. It's just our pride again. It makes us want to defend ourselves constantly. It's to our own harm in the end. I'm not saying that every time someone accuses you it's healthy to validate their accusation. There are those who will forever be right in their own eyes, and everyone else wrong. They're horribly unhappy people. I'm just saying, don't be that person. To have good relationships we have to come in with a willingness to see when we have messed up. Generally speaking, if we mess up, no one is going to die (unless you're a surgeon). Our whole life will not crumble if we have screwed up. We have to remember: Everyone on earth screws up...a lot. A humble apology and willingness to see from someone else's perspective would actually set us free and heal more than we can imagine. Repentance. Forgiveness. Restoration. Unity.
Thanks to Avery for the fresh lesson on asking for help, saying I'm sorry, and making it right.
Grace is always there. God never uses our repentance as ammunition to shame us. Out of His unfailing love He forgives us every single time we come humbly before Him with a heart of repentance. Freely we have received and freely let us give.
Repentance. Forgiveness. Restoration. Unity.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. - Colossians 3:12-14
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